Funny Bumper Stickers

 

Honk if you love peace and quiet.This is it, I don't have another car.

This bumper sticker exploits illiterates.

Today's mood: Irritable.

WELCOME TO CALIFORNIA. NOW GO HOME.

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Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

Boldly going nowhere.

Cover me, I'm changing lanes.

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

Honk if you want to see my finger.

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Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.

Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!

Microbiology lab: Staph only.

Honk if anything falls off.

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

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Eschew obfuscation.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Cole's law: thinly sliced cabbage.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Editing is rewording activity.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

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Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.

My reality check just bounced.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.

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Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.,

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Dyslexics have more nuf.

Clones are people two.

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My karma ran over your dogma.

This is not an abandoned vehicle.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

My wife ran off with my best friend. Gee, I'll miss him.

I is a college student.

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Six munce ago they sed I would never make prufreader, and now I are one . . .

Beer isn't just for breakfast any more.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Is there life before coffee?

The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.

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I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?

Just when you think you've won the rat race, along come faster rats.

If it's too loud, you're too old.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Rehab is for quitters.

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I may be fat, but you're ugly -- and I can lose weight!

Which came first? The woman or the department store?

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

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Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?

No radio. Already stolen.

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Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister.

I don't care who you are, what you are driving, where you would rather be or what you have on board.

Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Help wanted psychic: you know where to apply.

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Jesus loves you . . . everyone else thinks you are a jerk.

I'm just driving this way to make you mad.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

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All generalizations are false.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else!

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

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If you are psychic - think "HONK"

You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!

Grow your own dope, plant a man.

I brake for no apparent reason.

I don't brake.

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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

My other car has bumper stickers too.

(On the back of a biker's jacket) If you can read this, my wife fell off.